November 29th, 2009

Letter addressed to an entity unlikely to respond

Dear Switzerland,

It’s been quite some time since my last visit, but I enjoyed myself in your country. What’s not to love about beautiful mountains, freakishly reliable trains, and a wide variety of chocolate? But I regret to inform you that, well, you officially fail as a country.

In a 57%-43% vote, your people amended your constitution to ban the construction of minarets. Your four existing minarets won’t be torn down. For now.

Are you under the impression that banning a piece of architecture will somehow persuade Muslims to become, say, Catholics? Are you under the impression that a giant “fuck you” from nearly three-fifths of your people will make Muslims think “Gee, we really ought to more fully embrace Swiss culture.”

I am not sanguine about the threat posed by the subset of Muslims who seek to impose their religion on others by force; Islam is hardly alone among religions in that regard, and I might even concede that Islamism is uniquely threatening because of the sheer size and momentum of the movement, and its degree of repression and orthodoxy. So I write this not as someone who views the clash between Islam and liberal modernity through rose-colored glasses. But, guys, this is not the right answer.

Have you stopped to ask yourself why the United States excels at assimilating immigrants? Maybe it’s because, instead of treating them like second-class citizens, we offer them opportunity and freedom. That isn’t to say we’re blissfully free of racism or anti-immigrant bias. But we’re awfully damned good at assimilating immigrants, and if you disagree, please name the country that does so more successfully. Yeah, that’s what I thought. Freedom and the melting pot are a pretty good model for getting people to buy into our culture and values in a generation or two.

I’ll let you in on a little secret, Switzerland, because clearly you need all the clues you can get: freedom is the gateway drug for Americanism. Let me say that again slowly. Freedom is the gateway drug for Americanism.

Think about it.

Meanwhile, perhaps, if you find time to reply to this, you can explain to me exactly how this minaret ban is going to work. Minarets are not required for any part of Muslim religious observances, and are not necessary to make a building a mosque any more than a steeple or stained-glass windows are required for a church. The only purpose of this ban is for the majority to give the middle finger to a minority they don’t like. Do you think this is more likely or less likely to make your Muslim population more radical, insular, snd defensive?

For extra credit on the exam, you can explain exactly how this is different from the majority banning the construction of new synagogues. Not that a German-speaking country in Europe would ever do such a thing. Perish the thought.

Very Truly Yours,

A Concerned Acquaintance

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Thoughts, en passant:

"No one can be a great thinker who does not recognize that as a thinker it is his first duty to follow his intellect to whatever conclusions it may lead. Truth gains more even by the errors of one who, with due study, and preparation, thinks for himself, than by the true opinions of those who only hold them because they do not suffer themselves to think." —John Stuart Mill

"Earnestness is stupidity sent to college." —P.J. O'Rourke

"An idealist is one who, on noticing that a rose smells better than a cabbage, concludes that it will also make better soup." —H.L. Mencken

"This was the first thing Mark had been asked to do which he himself, before he did it, clearly knew to be criminal. But the moment of his consent almost escaped his notice; certainly, there as no struggle, no sense of turning a corner. There may have been a time in the world's history when such moments fully revealed their gravity, with witches prophesying on a blasted heath or visible Rubicons to be crossed. But, for him, it all slipped past in a chatter of laughter, of that intimate laughter between fellow professionals, which of all earthly powers is strongest to make men do very bad things before they are yet, individually, very bad men." —C.S. Lewis

"Politicians taking credit from what they’ve done for the economy are like little kids working the controls of video games without putting any money in. There’s all kinds of stuff happening on the screen of the video game and they think that it’s all due to the frantic work of their fingers." —Tom Foreman

"There are four boxes to be used in defense of liberty: soap, ballot, jury, and ammo. Please use in that order." —Ed Howdershelt

"Make no little plans. They have no magic to stir men’s blood and probably themselves will not be realized. Make big plans; aim high in hope and work, remembering that a noble, logical diagram once recorded will never die, but long after we are gone will be a living thing, asserting itself with ever-growing insistency. Remember that our sons and grandsons are going to do things that would stagger us. Let your watchword be order and your beacon beauty. Think big." —Daniel Burnham

"Careless exaggerations are a million times worse than the Nazis." —Merlin Mann

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